Day 13- Not so much

OK, so I tried to follow up my success from yesterday with yet another great meal. This one...not so much. On the menu was Cream of Cucumber Soup, Asia Sesame Slaw and a few cracker. I had a great time making my dinner, let's start with the good news. The slaw was to die for. It was cabbage, broccoli slaw, toasted sesame seeds with a dressing of sesame oil, vinegar and agave. Awesome! Now, the bad news...MY "soup" SUCKED! Out of 1-3 stars, William gave me a 3 on my presentation. On the texture, a 2. Flavor...1/2 star. Is that even a rating??? I have to give him some credit though, he tried it and smiled. He didn't day it sucked until I did. For being such good sports, I made the men a treat. Homemade ice cream, with a twist...

Stick with my on this one, it is a little over the top but worth trying:

GREEN VANILLA ICE CREAM

1 1/2 c Almond milk

1 1/2 cup fresh baby spinach

2 T agave nectar

2 t vanilla extract

Ice

Mix all ingredients in the processor (less ice). Mix till smoothish. Add ice, mix till pretty smooth.

OMG- Charlie loved it. He asked how I made it green. When I told him it had "Popeye" spinach in it, he said " I want to eat this every day of my life". Now that makes a momma happy. It every hit was a home run, it wouldn't seem as cool when you REALLY hit it out of the park!

We ended the night with a viewing of FOOD INC. This is Williams first time seeing it. I think he is on my team now. Anyone how would like to use it, let me know. I am willing to lend it to fellow truth seekers. Oh, that is profound :)

Day 12 - Sushi, kind of

I am trying out some new recipes. You will find this one at the bottom of this post,. A gift from me to you! I found a great book on cooking raw for 1-2 people. I am finding that cooking this way does not need to cost a ton of money. It does take a bit more time. I think that is one of the greatest problems in my life. I am too busy to cook. I don't take the time to feed myself or my family properly. I am trying to change that.

On Thursday, William said that he would like to come home for dinner and try some of my food. I flipped through my book and found the perfect dinner combo. I made California rolls (no crab), corn relish and a cucumber-mint salad. It was so fun learning how to make a sushi roll. I bought the little seaweed papers and made it happen. Of course, most of the magic is in the presentation. William came home and was so impressed. We sat and talked with each other. Had a nice cup of tea with our meal and gazed into each others eyes. It was great.

Best part...he said that he loved it and would eat it again with me. He also gave me two thumbs up. I ended my night with a session of yoga with the other man in my world. Loving taking care of the boys (the girl was at a sleepover).

California Rolls

2 nori sheets

2 ts. mellow white miso

2 c. alfalfa sprouts

1/2 ripe avocado thinly sliced

1/4 cucumber seeded and sliced lengthwise

1/4 c carrots grated

1/4 red bell pepper cut lengthwise into thin strips

sauce for dipping

lay a sheet, spread 1 t. of miso across the nori sheet horizontally. Layer half onto the sheet. Roll tight with a bamboo mat (or a paper towel, white trash style like me). Use a little water on your finger to close the sheet. Repeat for the second. Cut into 6 slices. Present on a nice plate with some sauce (I use liquid amino's). Serve with a side of something yummy. ENJOY!

Day 11 - I made it past...

Just a quick post to say that I MADE IT BELOW 200LBS. I have not been below 200 since I had Charlie, 7 years ago on the 10th. I am now at 198. That is a grand total of 22 lbs. I am very proud of myself. I put on a pair of pants today that used to be tight without having to unbutton them or unzip them. We are talking JEANS...not the stretchy kind either.

Keep going if you are doing this thing with me. WE CAN DO IT!!!

Day 9- FOOD INC.

May I suggest that you watch FOOD INC. sometime this week? I was shocked to learn how our food is processed. The way the animals are slaughtered for our consumption. In one slaughter house, 32,000 hogs are killed a day. I am not trying to change the world, I just believe that we need to be educated on what we eat. The movie was very well done. Madison and I both watched it. It was interesting to see that my kids are just now putting together the idea that nuggets once started as a chicken.

I do not think that we need to stop eat all meat completely. I believe that God created animals for our consumptions, but this is not the way. There are local farmers or growers that do this in a safe and humane way.

I would love to hear your input on this. Please check it out. Again, it was interesting and some what disturbing. Education is the real point to everything. Going into decisions with the facts makes life a little easier.

Day 8- Going in the RAW

So, confession time...two nights ago, I FAILED. I ate two dinner rolls and guess what happened, I felt so sick! The good thing about cleansing out your system is that you can try different foods and see how your body responds to it. Bread does not work for me. I love the taste of a nice hot homemade roll but I hate the feel of thinking my stomach is going to explode. So, BREAD IS OUT.

At this point, I am doing all fruits and veggies. I am at about 80% raw. Smoothies for breakfast are doing it for me. I use almond milk instead of dairy. I have taken all dairy out of my system completely. No cheese, no milk, no cream. Sugar has been replaced with agave nectar. I have had a cup or two of coffee. I have been meat free for 8 days.

I can definitely feel my body changing. I have not weighed in, but i feel better. I am still tired though. I do yoga every morning and evening. Come to find out that Charlie is a fan of yoga. He is my partner in crime every session. I imagine that is going to start kicking in soon.

Now, for the journey part. I am finding that I can easily turn this into legalistic rules of what I can or can't eat. I have starting thinking about this challenge as a diet. Any time my mind goes that way, I fail in minutes. That is what happen with the roll. "I have been so good, I can have a roll, it won't hurt me." It did. Not only did I feel gross after but I was disappointed in myself. I made a commitment to myself and gave in after only 6 days.

I have made peace with it and I am moving on. That is where I give up the most. "I already messed up, so I might as well give up." Well, not this time! I have forgiven myself, affirmed myself and love myself enough to carry on.

Day 5

What an amazing day!

I woke up this morning ready to start this day off right. After getting the kids off to school, i got myself ready to do some yoga. I had the house quite. The snow was lightly falling. Everything was perfect. I did a 70 minute yoga session. I found a video at the library called "yoga for beginners". It takes you thought each of the moves helping to teach you proper form. Loved it!

Lunch was tofu stir fry. Great!

Finally, the night ended with a wonderful dinner with great friends. Our family went to dinner at the Breedens. They live here in Fruita with their 3 kids in a yurt. That has always been Williams dream for us to live in a yurt. The best part is that Amy eat all "raw". She has been teaching her family to live a more clean and healthy lifestyle. For dinner we had zucchini pasta (which really isn't pasta but raw zucchini cut with a pasta shredder). She made raw spaghetti sauce. UNREAL!! To finish off we had raw chocolate chip cookies. These aren't the kind you get in the rolled dough, they are all natural dehydrated cacao powder and cashew cookies. They were awesome. I left there with too many recipes to even tell and a new outlook on this challenge. After studies I have been doing, I could see this as a possible lifestyle. I am now reading "The Raw Life". We'll see...so many books...so little time:)

God is so good to provide a voice and guide for me.

For anyone interested in the sauce recipe...IT IS GOOD!!!

Raw Spaghetti Sauce
2 tomatoes
2 T EVOO
Several cloves of garlic
1/2 c sun dried tomatoes
Basil, Parsley, Oregano
maybe salt to taste
blend all in a processor- add water for consistency

Day 4

Day 3 recap-
Sorry to not give you the big update yesterday. Wednesdays are such a crazy day in my world. I have youth group until late. I got home at 10:30 and remembered that I hadn't done my reading yet. The house was dark and everyone was asleep, so I didn't want to turn on the lights. To make this whole thing worked, I did my reading in the closet. Oh, I had to have both dogs in there with me because they would sit and wine outside the door.

I am having some amazing conversations lately. My mind is feeling pretty open to discussion. Everywhere I turn there seems to be people of different faiths, ages, ideas, all around. Instead of just passing the opportunities, I am taking them. For not have any coffee in several days, I am very energetic.

Day 4-
I am trying the most unusual food combos. I has shrimp and sweet potato stir fry yesterday. Today it was kale and portobello mushrooms with broccoli slaw stir fry. I know that they sound weird, but they are very tasty. Madison is loving all the veggies. Can't get either of the men in the house on board, but that will come with time.

I went for a great walk with Becky today. The sun is (was) out. They sky is (was) blue. Thank God for the sunshine. I am not sure I could have made it another day of winter. The walked helped to stretch out my sore legs. The squats really kicked my butt. It was hard for me to even sit on the toilet. I am not sure if those muscle haven't been used in a long time or I really pulled something. The stretching is helping for sure. It feels as though energy is rushing through me. The last few days, I have felt pretty spacey. Today I felt as though I had a grasp on life.

Today I was in such a positive mood. I have been focusing on my prayer life. It has been pretty dry as of late. I can feel a reconnect happening between me and God. You would think that working at my church should make that connection easy, but it makes it harder. I spend so much time working for God that I forget to talk to him. Isn't that what we do in so many of our important relationships? We spend so much time trying to make them happy, that we forget to connect with them. This is a lesson that is hard for me to learn. When I love you, I "do" for you. That is my love language. The only problem is that I am usally so tired from working to please you, that I forget to say I love you. I forget to spent time with you. I forget what your language is. See, I believe that God just wants us to spend time with Him. To say "good morning" and "good night". As the creator of my life and the center of my world, you would think that that shouldnt be so hard for me.

Day 2

Today I tried something new for my workout. I went with the Swedish Ball Core Method of workout. No wonder why those bitches in Sweden are so hot. What were you thinking Tiger???They work their abs off on that ball. 40 minutes worth of balancing and lifting and stretching. Crazy. I am sure that I will be feeling those squats tomorrow. Just as an FYI, I almost forgot to focus on my body tonight (mind you...it's day two) but remember at 10:00pm. Got in a great workout. Sure, I am not going to be able to sleep, but what the hell?

I did have a few moments of temptation. I asked for strength and for my lunch to sustain. God was good and granted that. A few breathes and the temptation passed. No crying children today. That is a good sign. Fruit and veggies were yummy. People were jealous of my lunch today. Someone tried to TRADE-UP for their Subway sandwich. No way...get behind me Satan :).

I did have a deep thought today. Stick with me, OK. SO last Sunday, Will & I went out with friends to dinner. We had chicken wings. One of my favorites, I must add. So as I was sitting there eating tons of little chicken feet, I remembered just taking Charlie that morning to see all the new baby chicks. He loves any animals. He pets them and holds them. And there it was...a bowl full of their little bone legs. We must have taken down a whole heard of chicken. Do chicken heard? Anyways, I had sucked off all the meat from something that was eating something else just a few days earlier. Now I would never eat my dog or cats. What I figured out is that it all comes down to personality. See, if a chicken would walk on a leash and play ball...would I eat it? Now I have to wrestle with the whole meat issue. Cows have personalities. They are really quite cute. I hate the sight of my own blood but I will eat a steak dripping in it. Where to go from this thought...

Day 1

Well, I made it through day one on my healthy spiritual journey. Eating the veggies was no big deal. I had a nice breakfast of an orange and some grapes. Lunch was a veggie medley. Dinner consisted of spinach and shrimp stir fry (shrimp count as fresh fish in my book). I didn't have any coffee. I opted for tea instead. Not bad, right? Lots of water...all good so far.

I went for a 3 mile walk. The sun was shining, it was amazing. I walked at a very steady pace. Even jogged a bit. Has on some sweet tunes. All still should be good. I should be feeling happy and groovy. The only problem is, I FEEL LIKE A RAGING BITCH!!! NO headache, no big stomach pains...I just want to kill someone. Is this a normal feel to cleansing. It is the anti-whatever leaving my body?

As for my reading today. I found out the life is not all about me. Right now, it feels about me but I guess its not. I read that I am created for a purpose. I higher calling on my life. That is a little tough to believe right this moment. I know that I made one of my children cry tonight by telling him it takes him a long time to get ready in the morning. I am not sure if I was harsh or he was sensitive.

Now, I do know what the bible says about fasting. I will try to take some of this to heart. It says that while you fast "Don't make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get." Matthew 9:16

Sure, this is not some 40 days in the desert like Jesus or Moses did, having nothing at all. I am not starving my body of everything. I am just not having meat or fast food for peets sake. This should not be all that hard. And really, it wasn't TODAY. Then the kids came home. Life started again. Yet, I am still feeling very edgy inside. I don't want to seem miserable or disheveled. I am doing a good thing for myself. I am spending time trying to focus on bigger things than what I am going to eat. I am trying to refocus on the gift of life that I have been given. To remember that I am blessed to be healthy. To treat my body as a temple. I JUST SUCK AT IT!!!!

I took a nice long bath to refocus. I spent a good amount of time breathing. That was good. I have purged all my emotion out. That too is good. Oh, and the kids are asleep. Do I feel peace and harmony entering my world again...I THINK SO! OK, I am ready for another day!

The 40 day Challenge

Starting tomorrow, MARCH 1, 2010... I will go where no one has gone before. OK, others have gone there, I just haven't. To start it off with "where I have never gone before" just didn't have the same ring. For the last few months I have been pretty faithful with paying attention to what I eat. I worked the low-carbohydrates and really enjoyed it. I am still down 17 pounds. Considering the weather, I am very proud of that.

Since I am the kind of person to constantly challenge myself (stop it!!! I can hear you laughing), I have decided to embark on a 40 day challenge. This challenge is not for weight loss. I am not asking for advise on this one either. This is purely for your information and my documentation. This challenge has all the elements that I have been working on. All area are going to be cover, MIND, BODY and SPIRIT. This is a pure lesson in mind over matter. This will be one worth following on my blog. I believe that this is going to test me to my core. I have to get back to the idea that food is fuel. Food was created to give us the energy we need to live the life we choose. I am choosing to detox my body. I am also choosing to starve my flesh of my inner urges. So, here it is:

FOR THE NEXT 40 DAYS I WILL:

Only eat fresh fruit and veggies. Canned and frozen are only allowed if they are 100% organic. No preservatives are allowed.

I will give up coffee...WHAT? you say...It's true. Tea is for me.

No refined flour, sugar or really anything white.

No dairy.

No meat, fish will be allowed if it is fresh.

40 minutes of exercises a day AT LEAST.

and the most important I think, reading 40 DAYS OF PURPOSE again.

I think that doing this simultaneously with Lent will help it to be more then just a challenge but a spiritual adventure as well. Please be thinking of me and pray for me as you see fit. I will write everyday to document this.

Now I am going to take down a bag of Doritos as a GOOD BYE to my flesh...YUMMY...SALTY.

Back by popular demand...

Hello my adoring fans! Have you missed me??? Here is where I sit for today. I have been doing the low-carb method. After reading about how carbs are turned into sugar, studying all the hidden sugar in our food, and my families diabetes history, this is the choice I have made for myself. It works great for me.

I have been losing at a pretty steady pace. I dropped a pant size. I am weighing in at 204 right now. That is very close to my first goal of riding below the 200 mark. After you do low-carbs for too long, your body kind of stops losing. To counteract that affect, I took at few days off. I went on an amazing trip to Vegas with my sister and niece. I chose to "drink" my carbs. I still ate moderate, watching the sugar. Good news...after not weighing in (and not really monitoring my food) I didn't gain. Success!

Today is Monday and I am back on my 14 days "carb cleanse" period. I am for sure feeling better about myself. I have starter really taking time in getting ready for the day. I am dressing better, feeling better, looking better.

This blog can get a little cumbersome at times. I am not sure if anyone is reading it. I feel as though I am 8 years old writing in my diary. I guess that is why I stopped writing. What I have come to figure out is that this blog is not for you. It is for me. This is a way for me to remember what it feels like. To go on this crazy journey and look back. To see the moments when I am high on life...and those moments when I am so low I can't stand.

As for today, I am high. There have been some eye openers. I realize that there are friends who don't invite me places because of my weight. That there have been times when I wasn't asked to be in things because the dress wouldn't have looked right in the pictures. There have been those who thought that I was weak or lazy because of my size. Those whose don't even think to ask me to go for a walk because I obviously couldn't make it. It has been an eye opener to see what people think of you because of size. It is time to show you, them and me that we are all wrong. Enough rant...that is not what this is about.

I am on track and really happy about my progress. Thanks for the support.

HI everyone...I am back! It is the new year and I am feeling great. I am watching the news and it is telling all about the ways to lose weight this year. They are also talking about how much people gain during the holidays. I love knowing that I haven't. I am still down 8 lbs. Even though I have not been blogging, I have been doing a really good job.

Exciting news...I went shopping last week and bought a pair of pants that are a size smaller. I was an 18, I am down to a 16. My short term goal is to be down to a 14 by the end of this month. The workouts have been slow in coming. It has been very cold around here but I am still trying to make it work. The kids are back to school tomorrow, so I will be back to blogging. Happy New Year... see you a few pounds less!

Where are you people?

OK, so you all failed miserably. I have not written in 10 days. I could have robbed a bakery at gun point and none of you would have known. The whole reason I have this blog is because I am a big loser with the determination of an ant. I need you guys to yell at me!!! Get drill Sergent on my ass. For real! I am giving you the green light to go for it but NO...not one single shout out.

Here is what I have suffered through in the last 10 days:
1) I started my period...enough said!
2) There was a snow storm that dropped 10 inches of snow on my walking loop.
3) There were 4 days of below zero temp, -10 actually.
4) I have not lost 1 oz. in a week. I haven't gained, but I haven't lost.
5) We are in full Christmas baking mode (no good for no carbohydrates)
6) ...I am not sure, but I know there must be a six somewhere. I'll have to think about it.

Besides for all that, I guess it has been a good week. I am feeling like if I only lose weight, my whole world would be a better place. Now, you and I both know that is not true. I think that if I was only 50 pounds lighter, all our problems would be fixed. So why is it that I am not doing anything this week about it? This is something I really want, yet I am not doing anything. I am trying to figure out how you enjoy walking outside when it is subzero. Would I do better with a gym membership or would that be just another thing I feel guilty about not doing? Not sure. Just a few ramblings off the top of my head.

Now the positive. When I am hungry, I am going for a protein choice instead. I am reading a book educating me on the reasons why carbohydrates are not a good choice for me. I am learning the long term effects on the choices I make now. Education is the best method...right?

HEAR ME WORDS...IF YOU DON'T HEAR FROM ME...I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU! THIS IS MY CRY OUTFOR HELP. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP!

Day 19, 1 man, 2 dogs

What a beautiful day in Western Colorado. The sun came out just long enough for William and I to take the doggies for a walk downtown. It is so much fun to see him get on board for all of this. The dogs are much happier, so I am.

I am having a hard time getting over the munchies. I feel like my jaw needs more exercise. It needs to be chewing. Maybe gum would help. I am doing great with exercising everyday, but the munchies are getting to me. Any suggestions?

Walking the mall

I just found the most wonderful spot to walk in the morning. Here in Fruita, it is getting quite cold. Finding a way to walk when it is 20 degrees outside it tough to come by. This morning I dicided to go to the mall. The stores are closed but the doors are open. I also learned that there is a following of people who do this. Very smart and very warm. After about 10 minutes, I had to take off a layer of clothes. I popped on my headset and off I went. 45 minutes at a pretty good clip should have made that about a 2.5 mile morning.

So, if you are looking for a spot...there is my TIP OF THE DAY!

Day 16, 1 slice of pie, 0.5 lbs down

Well, I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised. I did not loose much, but I did loose. I am down another .5 lb. That puts me at 44 more pounds to go. It could have been better for sure...but trust me it could have been MU CH WORSE! They say that the average person gains 10 pounds during the holidays. I have never settled for average before. I will definitely not be average this year. Back to the real workouts that were giving the good results. Holiday is over...back on my head!

Where have I been.

Forgive me, Blogger, for I have sinned. It has been 4 days since my last confession. It has been a crazy few days, I am sure that you all have felt it too.
Thanksgiving, I got up and went for a nice long bike ride before dinner. I have to say, this is the first Thanksgiving that I have not felt stuffed after. I had a little of everything, a bite or two. I did have a slice of pumpkin pie. Not a bad day over all.
Black Friday, up at 2:30 am to shop. I had an Egg Mc Muffin. I know what you are thinking. I see it now. It was a bad choice. I did not walk my 20 minutes, but I did shop for 7 hours walking fast to beat all the other moms to the sales. I stayed the night at a hotel with the kids for a mini vacation. I had a turkey wrap for dinner. Felt OK about those choices too.
Saturday, Mitten tree for GS. Went for a short walk. Not my 20 minutes, again.
And that puts me too today. I did have the munchies. I ate some cheese-it's. I think that is all I have to get off my chest. It was a little bad, but not as bad as it has been in the past.
Tomorrow morning is the weigh in. I am not really excited about it. I am a bit worried. We are on week two with Thanksgiving weekend in the middle. We will see...

Day 9, 20 laps, 3 arm bands

It is hard to find time to walk. It shouldn't be that hard, I just don't make time for it. If I wanted to watch my favorite show, my schedule would be open. It is true that if something matters you will make it happen. Getting on the scale today and seeing 5 lbs less, it matters now! I am so proud of myself. I am the most proud that it is day 9 and I am still going. I know that sounds lame, but I have started this thing a million times. I will go strong for about 5 days and then I get over it.
There are people who have too low self esteem. I have to high. Because I have always thought that I had a pretty face, I let it go. Because I could dress fashionable, I would let it go. I rationalised that since I could still shop in a regular store...I could let it go. I can't anymore. I can't let this go. Don't let me.

Tonight, I had to make it happen but my regular plan was all off. William is working until 11 tonight. The kids needed to take baths and it was dark already. I am not comfortable walking at night alone. I started to think again, "one night off...not big deal." IT IS! So, I put the kids in the bath and got myself ready. I put on some gloves and headphones. Off I went, around my little culdesack. 20 times I went, singing "Dancing Queen". 20 times around where the light from the house could be seen. 20 times around where I could see the kids. 20 times around thinking to myself. I AM DOING IT!

Tonight I added tension bands once I got home. I could feel it in my arms after the second pull. Good sign that it has been to long since those muscles worked. I also added 5 new friends to my mailing list. I promised myself that every 5 lbs down, I would add 5 more accountability partners. Thank you for cheering me on. I need you guys more than you know.

Day 9, 5,5 lbs down, 44.5 to go

I did my weigh in this morning and I am down, DRUM ROLL PLEASE, 5 1/2 lbs! Can you believe that? It hasn't been that bad. Sure, I sent my children into a few down-ward-shame-spirals. I have flown of the handle a couple of times. But that is a small price to pay for such a huge reward. What should be my 5 lb. gift? A car? OK, to big at this point. How about a sugar-free coffee at Starbucks. I think that is. I will drive to work with a foaming cup of glory.

5 1/2 down, 44 1/2 to go....

Day 8, 4 friends, 1 book club

It has been a wonderful weekend filled with family and friends. I have had time with Madison getting our hair done. Friend Friday with Becky doing Thanksgiving shopping. Saturday cooking for a teachers meeting. Sunday dinner with good food and good friends. Tonight was our book club. We just finished reading "The Red Tent". It is such a wonderful story of friendship and sisterhood. I don't know who I would be without my sister, both born or my mom and those who were not. I marvel at the stories and lessons I learn from the women in my life.

Back to business...I have done my best to make good choices. Taken my walks (less Friday night) as promised. I have to admit that I have not gone above or beyond, but I am sticking with it. I even left food on my plate tonight. I don't know when I left food on my plate last.

I am so blessed to have a great support team behind me. Tomorrow is weigh in day. I will be posting that. I am worried that I will not have dropped a pound. Will that make me a failure for this week? In my eyes, it might. I am not sure. I just know that I am I am going to be naked and will have just emptied my bladder.